“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”
―Mahatma Gandhi
Are you having trouble letting go of past mistakes and guilt? They’re an inevitable part of life and we all make mistakes and do or say things we regret. In my younger years, I would internalize my failures, and blow them way out out of proportion. Then I’d allow them to take me on a roller coaster of negative emotions, such as regret, shame, and self-blame.
But thankfully in maturing, I realized that we have a choice in how we respond- we can either use our mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow or we can allow them to drag us down and keep us from moving forward. What if, instead of letting past failures demoralize us, and waste our time and energy, we quickly forgave ourselves, apologize to those we hurt, learn from it, and focus on something else? It’s not easy but it can be done and we’ll end up better and stronger as a result of it.
First of all, if you’re a Christian, ask God to forgive you. According to 1 John 1:9, He will not only forgive you but will also cleanse you from all wrongdoings.
Here are some tips to help you in letting go of past mistakes and guilt:
1. Write down a list of the lessons your mistakes taught you and read them when regrets pop up. Regret is an integral part of setting goals. It can help you set goals to improve yourself.
● Regret presents you with an opportunity to think about how you could have acted differently, and it prompts you to make yet another effort to succeed.
● But instead of drowning in thoughts about how things could’ve turned out better, write down the lessons you learned from your mistakes. Take note of how much you’ve changed since then.
2. Forgive yourself. Feeling regret means you have standards you want to uphold. But the fact that you’re human also means you will fall short of your expectations from time to time. If you make mistakes, forgive yourself and move on with your life.
● Accepting that you have the power to learn and grow from your mistakes will make you happier in the long run.
● You won’t automatically feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders once you forgive yourself. But as time goes on, you’ll start feeling much better.
3. Distract yourself from thinking about your regrets. If you dwell on the things you’ve done wrong, you’re going to feel miserable. Instead, find ways to occupy your mind with things that make you happy.
● You can be around your family and friends, listen to music, or watch a TV show to give yourself some downtime. Don’t let your regrets overwhelm you.
● They won’t heal your wounds or make you feel better. You could also consider breaking up some routines to jolt you into feeling better.
● For example, you could try something new each day, like going to a new restaurant or vegetable market to try fresh foods or traveling somewhere new.
4. Accept your mistakes and learn to accept yourself. No one is perfect, and you can’t change who you were or what you did in the past.
● You could apologize to people who hurt your feelings or say you’re sorry if you accidentally said something hurtful. You might even try to forgive yourself.
● Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you let your mistakes get away from you. Instead, you can use them as motivation to do better in the future.
● Not only will accepting yourself and your mistakes stop you from beating yourself over them, but it’ll also help you overcome your fear of making mistakes altogether, which could’ve prevented you from achieving your goals.
5. Write down the emotions you’re experiencing. Penning your thoughts on difficult or painful subjects and expressing your emotions can help you work through your pain.
● After writing down your painful emotions, read through it one time. You may decide it’s not as bad as you thought it was. But in any case, you are now free to tear up your paper and throw it in the trash. The important thing is to make sure that you’re honest about what you’re feeling and thinking. This process may be enough for you to get some of your energy back.
Whether you realize it or not, dwelling on your mistakes makes you believe that you’re a failure. It can make you feel disappointed, ashamed of yourself, and guilty.
Forgive yourself and focus on the good things in your life. Keep in mind that you’ve grown as a person and changed for the better. You are human, and humans can make mistakes.
Letting go of past mistakes and guilt isn’t easy but try to be optimistic about your mistakes! After all, they are what has made you the excellent person you are today.
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